Have you ever wished you could just freeze time? Or go back in time to when things were a bit more simple? I am in that stage right now with my own kids. I am watching them grow and become who they were meant to be but I have to be honest and say it's HARD. Not projecting myself, my views, my vision for who they SHOULD be on them is my toughest battle. I want to instill values and morals without squashing their individuality and uniqueness. I want to keep them safe and hold them tight while allowing them to venture out and learn life's hard lessons on their own. This seesaw game of parenting just keeps getting harder as they get older.
It's just that, change is hard. Transitions are hard. Letting them grow is hard. This Halloween was very different for us as parents of a tween and a teen. They both headed off in different directions without us. We were left to entertain ourselves. Obviously we found something to do but it made me stop and think about all the big change that is coming our way. High school, relationships, jobs, driving etc.
Gone are the days of matching costumes and family trick or treating. They just don't need us in the same way as they used to. I know they need us in different ways but I have not yet found the sweet spot of this part of the transition. I'm still holding on to them being little.
I’m trying to give them their independence but as a mom it’s really difficult.
This stage is different and hard in it’s own way. They aren’t little or clingy, they are big and stand-offish. They can be sassy and rude but also hilariously funny and witty. They are learning about what they love and what drives them. They are pretty awesome human beings (most of the time) and I am proud to be there mom, even in this awkwardly weird stage of our lives.
As I was writing this I got the call/email/texts that our school district will transition to full remote again as of Friday. As a mom and a special education provider, this breaks me. I think this pandemic is part of what is making this transition harder too. It's hard when we are stuck in the same house day in and day out but I still can't beat a computer or a phone! I'm just not that cool!
I guess only time will tell how we all do with this tween/teen/pandemic drama that is all being thrown at us at once. My hope is that we just all come out kinder humans on the other side and make it through the bumps.
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