It seems that so many of us are always on the hunt for the recipe for love. How can I have a better relationship, how can we love each other the way we want to be loved? When you stop to think about it the answer is truly inside of us. We can only love another to the extent that we are capable of loving ourselves. Let that sink in a bit. How much do you love yourself? I am not talking conceited love but true admiration for your body, your mind, your soul, your perfectly imperfect self? How often do you show yourself love? How often do you care for yourself in the ways that you deserve? How often do you speak kindly to the body that gives you life?
Even as busy mothers, spouses, family members, it is imperative that we take the measures needed to love ourselves unconditionally. Without love for ourselves we cannot be the true companion to those that we want to share our lives with. Without love for ourselves we will never get the things we desire out of our relationships. We cannot expect others to provide the love for us that we don't provide for ourselves. That is a big burden to place on another. No matter how much they love you and you love them, it will never go past the extent of how much you love yourself.
When we don't love ourselves we put up walls. Walls that are so high, so wide, so thick that those that love us can't even get through them. Those walls create discourse in our lives in many shapes and forms. Discourse that has the ability to create the opposite of the feelings we are so longing for.
Changing your internal dialogue to a loving dialogue is not an easy task, but it is an imperative task. Taking time to care for yourself may seem selfish in the beginning but when the rewards start to overflow to those you love, you will realize it was vital. Not trivial or selfish, but life giving and life sustaining.
A great exercise to start to change the way you love yourself is to start with the internal dialogue. When you find yourself saying something negative, imagine how you would feel if your daughter or son was saying the same words to themselves. If it is not something you want for them, then never say it to yourself. Create a pattern interrupt to stop the negative talk in its tracks. It can be as simple as "stop, not right now" or changing your thought process to 3 things you are grateful for about yourself. Try this out and let me know what you think.
When you start loving yourself, sit back and watch how the universe works in your favor to return the love.
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